I didn’t want to do it last night, but I did it anyway.

Yesterday morning, I met D.P. for breakfast at the local Village Inn. It was lovely, as always – we had good conversation and the food was delightful. When it came time to pay the bill, he grabbed the ticket. I told him it was my treat, and tried to take the ticket. He said he already planned on paying… I argued back that I had already planned to as well. He gave me a look and I immediately said, “Okay, thank you.”

So…

Later in the evening, I was talking to him about various things and at one point the conversation came to a lull. I decided to address the situation of him always paying for me when we go out, and so I said something along the lines of, “I need to figure out how to get you to let me pay sometimes.” He told me I could pay for a meal when we’re in Las Vegas, and I told him that’s not fair, especially since he won’t let me pay for my plane ticket. I basically told him that people don’t do that unless they’re in a serious relationship, but I certainly didn’t want to assume anything before he had a chance to voice his thoughts. Of course, I mentioned, there are different levels of being ‘serious’, but considering he told me several weeks ago he didn’t want anything serious, didn’t want to get married or anything, I was caught off-guard a little. I told him, as well, that I had never really been treated so nicely, and he found that hard to believe. He made mention of guys not knowing how to treat women.

He was a little negative about himself, so we talked about trust… about living life on the edge for a while. He said he has had issues with trust in the past, and I confirmed my issues as well. I reiterated that he is a good man, and brought up the email I sent to him the other day… telling him that all those things I said about him are so evident, even in this short amount of time we have known each other. He thanked me again for saying those nice things.

We talked about me telling my mom about him, and he became quiet and quite worried for a moment. When I asked him why he was being so quiet, he said it was because he was worried what my family would say when they knew how old he was. After all, he said, my kids are your youngest brothers’ ages. I told him he is NOT his age, nor is he his children’s ages. He is a person first. He is ‘him’. I reassured him that it’s not the first relationship in my family that has had a large age-difference, and my mom just wants me to be happy. I told him that I haven’t been this happy in a long, long time, and it’s because of him. That is exactly what I told my mom, too.

One thing he mentioned was that he didn’t want me thinking every time I come over that we have to be intimate. I told him, “I know that. I want to… and, anyway, remember when I was there the other night and asked you if your TV worked in your room and I wanted to go snuggle? I think I was pretty well asking for it.” *giggle*

There is a lot more, but I have slept since then and don’t remember every single detail. All I know at this point is at least I have made my case, and now he has some thinking to do. I didn’t scare him off, because we talked again twice already today, and we have plans for Saturday night when he gets off work. Our trips to Cripple Creek on the 15th and Las Vegas in April are still on.

One thing I regret about yesterday: I feel a little bad that our talk had to come after he had some trouble with his ex-wife and daughter earlier in the afternoon. Like I said, I didn’t intend for it to happen that way, but the opportunity couldn’t be passed up.

I heart him.

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