D.P. gave me a lovely head cold. He warned me, I just didn’t want to hear it. Scratchy/tickly throat and stuffy nose, I’ve got the works. He called me this morning and left me a message. Take a listen by clicking “Share This”:

Voicemail You’ll Love
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This past weekend was loads of fun. D.P. was not feeling well, but wanted to visit the mountains, so he asked if the kids and I wanted to join him on a drive to Coal Creek. I wouldn’t have seen him otherwise, as Rob was taking the weekend off to do his own thing instead of spending time with his kids, so I had them all weekend. D.P. picked us up on Saturday afternoon, and we headed west. We were about 30 minutes from my house (already in the mountains) when E began moaning. I asked him what was wrong, and he said he needed some water. I thought maybe he needed to poop, but he kept complaining. At one point, he yelled, “Mom, I don’t want to go to the mountains!” I told him he was super-excited no more than two hours prior to that statement, and told him we were already there anyway. Less than five minutes later, he yells, “I’m gonna throw up!” I told D.P. to pull over immediately, and I threw my door (then E’s door) open. I got E in a ‘safe’ place, but he wouldn’t puke. He burped three times, and I sent him back to the car. D.P. continued driving. I emptied out a lunch bag that I had put some snacks into, and handed it to E, telling him if he needed to puke, to use the bag.

A short time later, E hollared again. I told D.P. to pull over, but there was no shoulder. It took another minute before we could get to a safe place. Again (this time with MUCH MORE FEELING), I threw my door (then E’s door) open. I tried to yank him out, but he wasn’t coming with me, and puke began to fly everywhere. Where the hell was the bag?! I soon realized E was still buckled in. Oh, Christ. I unbuckled him, and literally threw him by one arm to the side of the road, where he vomited at least two more times. He looked like death warmed over, that’s for sure.

As I cleaned up the mess in the backseat with baby wipes (who’s idea was it to buy a car with faux-suede seats, anyway? Oh yeah, a single man with adult children, that’s who) as E stood on the side of the road. When I was done, I had E take off his vomit-soaked shirt, and placed it in a zip-top baggie with the used wipes. Then, I took a few wipes and cleaned E’s body as best as I could.

Soon after, we hopped back into the car and D.P. decided it was time to go home. We ordered pizza back at my place (E slept in my room the whole time), and D.P. hung out until about 830 pm, when he decided he wasn’t feeling well and was going home to go to bed. Fun times.

PS: I asked E why he didn’t use the bag to puke in (there was nothing in there when I looked), he said he didn’t want to mess it up. Dude, it is A LOT EASIER to clean up plastic than it is faux-suede!!